A New Phase

I am in a new phase of life, and with God's strength I am making the most of it. I have made some active choices (sometimes on a daily basis). The first is that I choose to view "widow" as a characteristic of mine and not my identity. Yes, it is a part of who I am, but it is not the whole of me, just like "psychologist" is not my identity either. I have discovered that to be a widow, I have to be quite stubborn with what thoughts I allow to occupy my mind. I could easily focus on whom and what I have lost, but I choose to think on other things.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

I've always said that God is the best cognitive psychologist. He tells us what to do to have peace that is beyond human understanding. Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Rather than questioning why Dave was taken from me so early, I focus on being grateful that he was my husband for 25 years. Instead of getting depressed thinking about what we will never do together, I focus on being grateful for the experiences and memories of what we did have together. It takes a stubborn dependence on God to think on these things and allow the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I cannot expect to have the peace of God if my mind remains focused on bitterness and self-pity.

The second of my active choices is to see this as another phase of my life and wonder what joys and adventures God has in store for me. God has delivered me through 100% of my darkest times, and I know He continues to deliver me. I do not believe that His plan for me is to be a grieving widow for the rest of my days. While I will always miss Dave, I have to actively (stubbornly) choose to believe that God has a good life planned for me. While He may send opportunities my way, I have to choose to follow them. That's why I have "gone home" and joined the Geyer Springs First Baptist Church Celebration Choir.

This is a picture of the Celebration Choir and Orchestra and the actors and crew of The Kingdom. I don't think I am in this pic, but I had the privilege of being in this two times, the first being about 12 years ago or so. I had not been in the choir for 7 or 8 years, and I must say I was quite nervous about walking into rehearsal the first time that I almost turned around and drove back home! I shouldn't have been so anxious because the moment I walked in, so many people that I had known from years before immediately recognized me and welcomed me back. It truly was like going home. Now every Wednesday night and the Sundays that I am selected to fill the choir (still having to distance due to Covid), I am moved beyond words to sing praises and worship with these folks. What a blessing!

I will write about other aspects of this new phase of my life in subsequent posts. I just know that right now I am content. And my son says he is proud of me. That means a lot!